Friday 10 June 2016

I AM ANGRY



“What is the cause for this lack of development in Malawi Vanessa?”
A few days ago someone asked me this question and it has been lingering in my head since. Why is Malawi underdeveloped after all this time?
Many people will tell you that it is because of corruption. Or selfish leaders focused on feeding their bellies and fattening their pockets. This is all true. Yes, corruption is high in Malawi, that is an undisputable fine. Selfish leaders have indeed graced this country for so long.
So all the answers I get still leave me with a single question. Why?
Here is what I think. Lack of Patriotism.  Malawi is filled with Malawians who do not love their country. Some people would ask, what’s there to love? I believe the fact that one can look you in the eye and ask what is there to love in their own country shows you how much they value their country.
Most people I have talked to would have picked a different country to be born in, had they been given a chance to choose. Because we do not love this country, we do not care how others treat it.
I remember when I was a child I had a friend who had a younger sister. They used to fight a lot. However, if an outsider even tried to lay a hand on my friend’s sister, she would get angry. She was willing to break friendships just to ensure no one messed with her sister. That is love. You protect what is yours when you love it.
Not Malawi. We let people give it a bad name. we let people kill our brothers. We let people steal from our government. People we have entrusted with our hard earned money. We let people abuse each other just because one is stronger/richer/more powerful than the other. We listen to the poor as they tell us about their ordeal, about how they have been victimized. We stand there and sometimes nod when they say “I’m just a poor person, my rights don’t count, what else can I do?” We show a little sympathy for two minutes then we are back to our normal lives. And we claim to love our country. We stand in corners of walls, or under trees and release our smelly urea into the ground. And yet we say we love our country. We Malawians have not yet learnt the intimacy one needs to share with his/her country.
I am an angry young person. I am angry because so many times I have accepted to be oppressed because I do not want to cause trouble. I am angry because I learned too soon that “some you win some you lose,” so I have accepted the losses. So many losses it is now “few you win most you lose.” I am angry because as a country we take it too much. The pain, the abuse, the mistreatment. We have accepted it as a norm. so when someone speaks out against it, we find fault in that. I am angry. Not because I cannot do anything, but because I will not do anything.
I am angry because when writing this I had to check my tone, my choice of words, my sentence construction. Not because I was checking for grammatical errors, no., but because I needed to make sure I am not saying things that others would rate as inciting violence or any of that gibberish. Most of all I am angry because this is the world my son will grow up in and its partly my fault. I am angry.