I Got the Shot

 

Friday, March 12, 2021

 

So, my impulsive self got the Vaccine yesterday.

Of course as always, my overthinking part swooped in right after. A lot of what ifs so I went where I go when that happens. Google. And guess what? The first thing I found was Austria had suspended administering the vaccine. Worse still, after refreshing, a new article popped up, Denmark had also suspended the administration of the vaccine. Now my heart was pounding, I am going to die.

I decided to read the articles, one death in each of the two countries. I don’t know why but there was a little sigh of relief which didn’t last long of course. I mean my brain was in full panic mode, “what was I thinking, why did I do it, what will happen, I’m not ready to die” (throughout the pandemic I’ve been in panic mode over dying and it hasn’t been easy.)

Anyways, I kept reading the articles, it talked of Batch ABV 5300 being the one distributed in Europe and so on. I quickly googled Malawi AstraZeneca Vaccine and it the news articles I found kept mentioning that it came from India. I quickly scribbled, India AstraZeneca and there it was, they were producing the Vaccine too, there was a glimpse at the mention of the developer being 24 or 21, I need to check that one out again. Another sigh of relief, odd I know but hey, needed all the wins I could get. By this time, I was home and on a call with my confidante who happened to offer the right solution at that point, conversation.

 It will be silly of me not to mention that immediately after the vaccine I suspected pain behind my ears which of course was due to the fact that I’d had my mask on whole day. Hahaha

Anyways, I eventually managed to sleep around 12:30am. I think I had been waiting for the fever that most people had reported to have experienced after getting the shot. The fever didn’t happen. That was my day one.

Today, I woke up, I was okay, physically, but my brain was still on alert. There’s a little pain on my arm, just below where the shot was taken. But that’s normal with injections I think. I’ve had a couple of shots that hurt, case in point, the Tetanus Vaccine.

Fun fact, I had hoped it will stop my periods, at least one month. That didn’t happen. Aunt flo is here, same as always. I had been a bit constipated and had diarrhoea today, but when my periods usually come with diarrhoea, and I’ve been taking hot (warm) water pre-breakfast and I had just finished a mug of sugarless hot tea so there’s that. Basically, I’m saying I still feel ok.

 

I have to say, it has been a bad day for me mentally but I feel okay physically. I will keep you updated on what happens next.

 

I’m still scared, especially about the clots. I am also still reading and I have to say, the conflicting information is a bit scary but somehow it is helping me. They are still investigating what might have been the cause. I hope I will be okay.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Tomorrow it will be a week since I got the jab. So far I haven't felt anything different with my body. I'm still observing myself.

 

 

23 SEPTEMBER 2018

😊😊😊This is me taking a moment to appreciate everyone that made my birthday super special.....

Yes, yesterday, 23rd September, was my birthday. A couple of days ago someone asked me how I felt about adding another year, I wanted to joke about how another year means I'm subtracting my days on earth but I decided to tell the truth.
I didn't like it, the fact that

I was turning 27 was not an exciting fact at all...
"Why do you say that?" He asked and I said
"I'm almost 30, what have I achieved?"
He laughed.. a disappointed laugh. Then he said "aaah but Vanessa, you need to learn to be grateful, you have a job, you stay on your own...., it's not easy, how can you even ask such a question"
So I explained myself by arguing that what I mean is how have impacted people's lives.... He answered that but I wasn't convinced. I didn't feel it was anything, but yesterday proved me wrong.

Yesterday I realized a couple of things, first being I am loved by many... friends took minutes, hours, days from their time to make sure I have a special day.

Messages flew in each personalized and showing me just how I've impacted their lives. Now you may say, "Vanessa, you're overthinking it, people always say things like those on your birthday" but no... that's not it. Yesterday I learnt that each person has a story of how I impact/impacted their life.

Yesterday I was filled with laughter and smiles.... Yesterday I was happy, and that happiness is still overflowing. It will be a beautiful year for me, because I know I'm surrounded by family... friends..countless of them, sisters...

Thank you very much all of you. Here is to many more years of friendship. 🙏

I AM ANGRY

“What is the cause for this lack of development in Malawi Vanessa?”

A few days ago someone asked me this question and it has been lingering in my head since. Why is Malawi underdeveloped after all this time?

Many people will tell you that it is because of corruption. Or selfish leaders focused on feeding their bellies and fattening their pockets. This is all true. Yes, corruption is high in Malawi, that is an undisputable fine. Selfish leaders have indeed graced this country for so long.

So all the answers I get still leave me with a single question. Why?

Here is what I think. Lack of Patriotism.  Malawi is filled with Malawians who do not love their country. Some people would ask, what’s there to love? I believe the fact that one can look you in the eye and ask what is there to love in their own country shows you how much they value their country.

Most people I have talked to would have picked a different country to be born in, had they been given a chance to choose. Because we do not love this country, we do not care how others treat it.

I remember when I was a child I had a friend who had a younger sister. They used to fight a lot. However, if an outsider even tried to lay a hand on my friend’s sister, she would get angry. She was willing to break friendships just to ensure no one messed with her sister. That is love. You protect what is yours when you love it.

Not Malawi. We let people give it a bad name. we let people kill our brothers. We let people steal from our government. People we have entrusted with our hard earned money. We let people abuse each other just because one is stronger/richer/more powerful than the other. We listen to the poor as they tell us about their ordeal, about how they have been victimized. We stand there and sometimes nod when they say “I’m just a poor person, my rights don’t count, what else can I do?” We show a little sympathy for two minutes then we are back to our normal lives. And we claim to love our country. We stand in corners of walls, or under trees and release our smelly urea into the ground. And yet we say we love our country. We Malawians have not yet learnt the intimacy one needs to share with his/her country.

I am an angry young person. I am angry because so many times I have accepted to be oppressed because I do not want to cause trouble. I am angry because I learned too soon that “some you win some you lose,” so I have accepted the losses. So many losses it is now “few you win most you lose.” I am angry because as a country we take it too much. The pain, the abuse, the mistreatment. We have accepted it as a norm. so when someone speaks out against it, we find fault in that. I am angry. Not because I cannot do anything, but because I will not do anything.

I am angry because when writing this I had to check my tone, my choice of words, my sentence construction. Not because I was checking for grammatical errors, no., but because I needed to make sure I am not saying things that others would rate as inciting violence or any of that gibberish. Most of all I am angry because this is the world my son will grow up in and its partly my fault. I am angry.

THEY ARE PEOPLE AFTER ALL

Passing by Chichiri campsite was never an easy thing to do. “They hit people there” kids would say. I had a very bad picture of soldiers as a kid. In secondary school I heard similar stories concerning soldiers from Monkey-bay.  So every time I saw a soldier, I looked the other way, pretending not to see them while trying so hard to avoid eye contact. If not for the fear of appearing suspicious I probably would have been running the opposite direction every time I saw one. After all who wants to get slapped around for merely being a civilian.

When I was in college I got the chance to know soldiers. one of my best friends came from a military background. I remember the first time I met one. Tall, dark, well soldier-like. when he spoke I was shocked. He spoke like any other person. Slowly I got immersed into the world of soldiers to the point that I wanted to be one too. By the time I was leaving college I had a very different picture of soldiers. They are people too, they pray, laugh, eat, love, cry. just like the rest of the world.

When I was in standard four, I knew this other police officer. His name was Mr Banda. Before him, police officers were something to scare me by. “if you cause trouble, police will arrest you.” But Mr Banda talked, he laughed, he said hello. How could such a person arrest a kid. I never asked these questions out loud though. Since them I grew up with the mentality that police officers were my friends. I would tell my friends, “I can talk to a police officer” it was something admirable in my head. It still is.

However, college distorted my image of the police. Suddenly they became something you run from. Even when there were no demonstrations, if I saw a police officer I would quickly scan my head for all the possible crimes I may have committed. After college, I got a chance to spend time with police officers. Every two weeks, I would work with a different group of them.  And guess what? They joke too. They pray. They can have babies. They fall in love. 

I have friends in the Military, I have friends in the Police Service. They think, they feel, they love, they get angry. Today, some of my friends will be going for training to join our friends in the Malawi Police Service. I wish them all luck. Yes, some people will look at you differently after this. But I know, the only difference between you and me is the uniform you have to wear and of course the six months of running. I will proudly say, I have friends who are police officers. Just as I proudly say, I have friends who are soldiers.